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Thursday, August 7, 2014

OLD LADY HABITS

I've been called an "old soul" before and I used to think "Wow! I'm mature."  Wrong.  I realized it's because I have old lady tendencies.  I am an eighty year old trapped in a twenty six year old's body.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized I have more elderly habits than I realized.

1. I go to bed early.  Clarification: I don't go to bed at 8 PM. I know people like to exaggerate it a little bit, but usually around 9 or 10 PM.  Occasionally I can stay up to 11 and every once in a blue moon I can stay up until midnight, but then I start getting delirious.

2. I have the worst memory.  This is no exaggeration.  True story:  one time I was watching tv with my roommates & this movie preview came on.  I said, "I want to see that!"  They all looked at me with puzzled looks and replied, "You know we saw that in the movie theater recently, right?"  Gosh, I'm an idiot.  I can remember numbers like no bodies business, but cannot remember names, places, movies, music artists, events that occurred, etc.

3. Bad hearing.  I blame my mom for this one.  I think it's genetic.  That lady can't hear for her life.

4. I have an 80 year old bladder.  Long road trips often requires frequent stops for this Wood family.

5.  Aches & pains.  I wish I could blame that on pregnancy & carrying around a huge baby all the time, but I am pretty sure my back and stomach hurt before James ever existed.

6. I drive slow.  I am not sure what it is.  When I lived in Los Angeles I was a speed demon, but since I moved to Georgia, I started driving slow.  I guess that's my way of coping with the slow pace of life here.

7.  I walk slow.  I am not sure where I got this, my whole family walks fast.  Jordan said that when we were dating, I walked so slow and when I would talk while walking, it slowed me down even more.  Yikes!

I wish I could say I talked slow and ate slow, but I talk 100 mph & same with eating.

I just need to face it, by 35 I'll probably be wearing a hearing aid along with a diaper and diagnosed with dementia.  Poor Jordan.